I Had to Learn to Reparent Myself to Be a Parent Worthy of My Daughters
Motherhood keeps humbling me, stretching me, and teaching me to love without control.
Galina Singer, July 14th 2025
I had to learn to reparent myself in order to be a worthy parent to my daughters
Motherhood for me is a journey home to myself, where I gained greater clarity about my powers and limitations.
Each one of my daughters reflects back to me aspects of me. Some I loved seeing and basking in. Others were more difficult to accept, to admit to.
I saw that just because I am a parent to these humans, I don’t really know life better, nor am I better skilled at it. I keep being surprised, keep learning.
The life for which I was raised turned out to be an illusion. A mental construct. I find that to be a good parent to my children, I had to question and let go of a lot of these assumptions and certitudes on which I’ve built my life.
Most notably, I find that to be a parent worthy of my children, I had to learn how to reparent myself.
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It is only through learning compassion and gentleness toward myself that I could bring that compassion and gentleness to my girls, as they try their wings in young adulthood. To help them to find their own shape, I have to allow a lot of space between us.
It feels edgy to let them navigate life on their own, as they take their first steps toward adulting. But what I’m learning is that my belief in their abilities and resilience is often much more potent as support than any saving, hovering or controlling I can do.
Because, anyway, I cannot save them from life. And this is at once difficult to accept, but also freeing.
Freeing for me and freeing for them. I can take my vigilant eye off them and let them experiment, sending them love and admiration on their path, rather than fear and worry.
I also believe that my daughters are definitely not here to perpetuate the past, to walk on my path or in my shadow.
They are here to forge their own paths.
And we need more women leaders and independent thinkers.
Motherhood has been a humbling experience — one that keeps teaching me to let go, to trust, and to reparent myself so that I can truly support my daughters in becoming who they are meant to be.
How about you?
What has your parenthood helped you see?
Or what have you learned from being parented?